This past weekend, I had the privilege of attending the AFSP Soul Exhaustion workshop. It was an extraordinary event, and one particular expression from the speaker has stayed with me. She shared a conversation she had with another suicide loss survivor, describing the early days of grief as feeling utterly lost—our thoughts scattered, our lives unrecognizable, as the weight of the loss consumes us. The person she spoke with likened it to the soldiers who serve as the Honor Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery. These brave men and women walk tirelessly, through rain and snow, performing one sacred duty—to honor those they have lost. Their commitment is unwavering, a tradition of reverence deeply embedded in our nation’s process of mourning.
After a suicide loss, many of us feel as though we, too, are walking our own honor guard for the person we have lost. Their memory is powerful and ever-present, and we honor them in ways both quiet and profound. I know, for me, the fear of forgetting my son was overwhelming in the early years. The thought that time would somehow erase his presence haunted me. Yet now, more than 16 years later, I can say with certainty that I have not forgotten him. He remains a part of my daily life and thoughts, woven into the very fabric of who I am.
What changes over time, much like the Honor Guard’s march, is the focus. In the beginning, the loss demands all of our attention, as we walk in solemn rhythm to remember and honor them. But with time, that dedicated march shifts. The grief doesn’t fade, but it becomes integrated into our lives—not as a march, but as a loving embrace. We carry their memory forward, not in the same intense solitude, but with a quiet strength and a heart full of love. We grow and heal, while keeping their presence alive in every step we take.
Other Posts You May Also Like
Ritual and Remembrance — Practical ideas for creating meaningful rituals that honor your loved one on anniversaries, birthdays, and throughout the year.
Day 2,922 of Our Journey: The Gift — A reflection on how honoring our son’s memory has evolved over the years and the unexpected gifts that have emerged from carrying his love forward.
What Does Healing Look Like? — Understanding that healing doesn’t mean forgetting, and how grief transforms over time while your love remains constant.
Photographs After a Suicide Loss — How gathering, preserving, and eventually finding joy in photos becomes part of the ongoing work of honoring their memory.
Something You Get Through: Finding Hope After Suicide Loss — Willie Nelson’s 33-year journey as a suicide loss survivor reminds us that honoring our loved ones is lifelong work that transforms but never ends.
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