After the loss of a loved one to suicide, healing can feel like a distant, even impossible concept. Many survivors ask, “How do I know if I’m healing?” The truth is, healing doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one or no longer feeling pain. It means learning to carry the grief in a way that doesn’t consume you. It’s not a return to the person you were before the loss, but the slow and gentle emergence of a new self, one shaped by love, resilience, and profound experience.
Healing can be subtle. It may look like laughing for the first time without guilt. It might be noticing the warmth of the sun, enjoying a meal, or reconnecting with a friend. Sometimes it’s just a quiet moment of peace in a day that used to feel impossible. It often arrives with hesitation, you may wonder if feeling better means you’re leaving your loved one behind. But allowing yourself to feel joy again is not a betrayal. It’s a testament to the strength of your love, and your courage to continue living with meaning.
It’s important to know that you can still be grieving and healing at the same time. The two can coexist. You may have days where the pain resurfaces suddenly, and that doesn’t mean you’ve gone backwards. Healing is not linear. It’s a winding path with moments of progress and setbacks, and that’s okay. What matters is that you continue to care for yourself, seek support, and honor your grief while allowing hope to gently grow.
If you’ve started to feel moments of light, no matter how small, trust them. If you’re beginning to think about the future, or finding ways to be present in the now, that is healing. You deserve to feel better, no matter where you are in your grief. Healing doesn’t mean you’ve let go of your loved one. It means you’re learning how to live while carrying their memory with you.
Here are some resources on healing:
- https://allianceofhope.org/this-new-life-what-is-healing
- https://allianceofhope.org/the-healing-process-learning-to-live-after-loss
- https://allianceofhope.org/i-know-i-am-getting-better
Other Posts You May Also Like
Healing Is a Journey and Not a Destination — Understanding that healing unfolds gradually through small moments of connection and grace, not as a final destination you arrive at.
Something You Get Through: Finding Hope After Suicide Loss — Willie Nelson’s insight that grief isn’t something you get over, but something you get through, and why that distinction matters for healing.
Understanding Grief — Learn about the phases of grief, including acute grief, integrated grief, and prolonged grief, to better understand where you are in your healing process.
The Road to Healing: Finding Your Path Forward — When you’re ready to take steps forward, this post explores how to begin the journey toward a life that holds both grief and hope.
Day 2,922 of Our Journey: The Gift — A personal reflection on what healing looked like eight years after losing our son, and the unexpected gifts that emerged from the deepest pain.
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