Facing the Summer with Patience

Summer’s Unique Challenges for Survivors

As summer returns, so do unique challenges for those of us touched by suicide loss. While the world around us seems eager to celebrate, with vacations, family gatherings, and joyful traditions, for many survivors, this season can feel especially difficult and lonely.

When the World Celebrates and You’re Still Grieving

Often, it is hard to join in the happiness of others when our own hearts are still searching for a sense of normalcy after deep loss. I remember vividly how overwhelming that first summer felt after losing our son, with the emptiness more pronounced against the backdrop of everyone else’s routine joys.

The Search for “Normal” That Never Comes

In the aftermath of suicide, regaining any sense of “normal” can seem impossible. Even getting away for a vacation may not bring relief; in fact, it can stir up difficult memories or remind us of the irreplaceable absence in our lives.

The Empty Seat at the Table

Every family member holds a unique role, and their absence is felt in big and small ways. Maybe no one sits in their seat at the table, or someone new walks the dog. We are often left wondering if anyone should fill that role, or if it lingers silently, an unspoken ache within family gatherings.

When You’re “Supposed” to Be Happy

During this season, when we’re “supposed” to be happy, the absence of a loved one can feel heavier and more present.

Summer Heat as Metaphor for Grief

Grief, much like the summer heat, can be all-consuming: draining our energy, distorting our routines, and making even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Sometimes it’s hard to catch our breath, hard to sleep, hard to move through the days.

Small Comforts and Acts of Self-Care

Just as we seek a cool drink or a moment of shade on a hot day, it can help to seek small comforts and acts of self-care during this time of grief. Remember, healing takes time and comes one gentle step at a time. What small kindnesses or supports are helping you move forward this summer? Are there moments or practices, however small, that give you a sense of solace as you continue along this journey?

Healing Is Not a Straight Path

Surviving suicide loss is deeply traumatic, and the process of healing is not a straight path. You might find comfort or insight in the article “A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma,” which explores the realities of healing after trauma. Another moving perspective is offered in “Facing the Elephant“, written by a daughter journeying through her first year after losing her mother to suicide.

Patience: The Word We All Need

As we navigate these difficult months, I want to leave you with words from Rose Moen, a fellow survivor who captures what we all need most in this journey:

Patience

by Rose Moen
It is not easy returning to the world of normalcy when your world is so upside-down. It is not easy to stop being a mother or father to your child who has died.

The thought for the day is a word: patience.
Patience with yourself, suddenly and powerlessly thrust into this nightmare.
Patience with your spouse, whose emotions may not match yours on any given day.
Patience with friends and relatives who try to help but sometimes miss the mark.
And patience with time itself, for healing is slow and cannot be rushed.
Patience.

May you offer yourself patience and gentleness as you face this summer. You are not alone in your grief or in your hope for healing.

Other Posts You May Also Find Helpful:

• Changing Seasons – Explores how all seasonal transitions amplify grief, providing broader context for understanding why summer specifically feels so difficult for survivors.
• Finding Your Way Through the Holidays: A Guide for Survivors of Suicide Loss – Addresses similar challenges during winter holidays when you’re expected to celebrate while grieving, offering strategies that also apply to summer gatherings.
• Self-Care – Provides detailed guidance on the small comforts and acts of self-care mentioned in this post, helping you find moments of solace during difficult summer days.
• Time After a Suicide Loss – Explores the patience and time needed for healing, reinforcing the message of Rose Moen’s poem about allowing the slow, unrushed process of grief.