The Road to Healing: Finding Your Path Forward

When The Ground Disappears

In the aftermath of losing someone you care for to suicide, it’s natural to feel utterly lost and disoriented. The ground beneath your feet has vanished, and finding your bearings feels impossible. Many of us know this experience intimately: those endless days and nights when thoughts of our loved one consume every moment, when our minds refuse rest as we wrestle with the painful questions of “Why?” and “What if?” This overwhelming intensity is often where the journey toward healing begins, though in those early days, we may not recognize it as such. I remember being lost in our son’s suicide 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Not Wanting a New Future

The idea of imagining a new future can feel not just difficult, but deeply wrong. You may find yourself thinking, as many of us have, that your future disappeared along with your loved one, that all your hopes and dreams died that day too. This feeling is grief speaking, casting its shadow over everything you once knew. It’s important to understand that not wanting to heal, not wanting to move forward, is a natural response. Of course you don’t want a “new normal.” You want your person back. You want your life back. These feelings are valid, and you’re not alone in experiencing them.

The Fork In The Road

The death of someone we love to suicide creates an unexpected fork in the road of our lives. We had all planned to continue down a familiar path together, but that road has suddenly ended. Now we stand facing an entirely different direction, a path we never chose and never wanted to travel. This new road stretches ahead, filled with unknowns and shrouded in uncertainty. It looks lonely and frightening, and understandably so. None of us would choose this journey if we had any other option.

Standing At The Fork

Many survivors find themselves standing at that fork for a long time, and that’s completely understandable. There’s no timer counting down, no deadline for when you should stop looking back at the road that brought you here. The question of when to stop gazing at the path that’s now closed, and when to begin taking steps on this new journey, is one that only you can answer. There’s no right or wrong timeline for this moment of turning forward.

They Travel With You

It’s crucial to know that beginning to move forward doesn’t mean leaving your loved one behind. They remain forever in your heart, woven into your memories, and part of who you are. They are not an obstacle to your healing. Rather, they travel with you in spirit. Starting toward healing requires tremendous courage. It involves false starts and setbacks, moments when you find yourself back at that fork in the road, looking behind you once more. This journey is uniquely yours, and only you can determine how and when to begin, and where it might lead you. There is no roadmap, just know that many people have found this new road and you can find it too. Even if it is three steps forward and two steps backwards, you are making progress.

No Perfect Roadmap

There is no perfect roadmap for this journey, but please know this: many others have found their way down this new road, and you can too. Healing isn’t a straight line. Even when you take three steps forward and then slide two steps back, you’re still making progress. Every small movement forward counts, even when it doesn’t feel that way. Dr. Jack Jordan, who has dedicated over forty years to understanding suicide loss, has helped countless survivors find their path to healing. His insights remind us that this difficult journey is one that others have navigated before us, and his work offers valuable guidance for both survivors and the professionals who support them.

When You’re Ready

The journey toward healing is not only possible—it’s waiting for you when you’re ready. Those first steps, however small they may seem, are acts of courage and strength. Healing exists somewhere down this road, though reaching it requires both time and gentle effort. There’s no rush, no pressure to be anywhere other than where you are right now. Your pace is the right pace. Your timeline is the right timeline.

When you feel ready, begin. If you’ve already taken your first steps, continue at your own pace. And if you’re still standing at the fork in the road, know that it’s okay to stay there until you feel ready to turn forward. Healing is possible, hope can return, and you don’t have to walk this path alone. Your support group stands with you, wherever you are on this journey, offering companionship and understanding as you find your way forward, one step at a time

Other Posts You May Also Find Helpful

• Finding Your Way Through: Understanding the Journey of Healing – Dr. Jack Jordan’s seven tasks of healing provide a framework for understanding the path forward and what the healing journey looks like.
• What Does Healing Look Like – Understanding that healing isn’t linear and recognizing progress even when you’re taking three steps forward and two steps back.
• Is the Second Year Harder? Understanding Your Unique Grief Journey – Your healing timeline is uniquely yours, and different challenges emerge as you continue down this new road.
• Something You Get Through: Finding Hope After Suicide Loss – Understanding that this is something you get through, not over, and that hope and healing are truly possible.